I Am I...

                                 Video Courtesy of CBS Inc.

When I was a boy, I saw Richard Kiley as Don Quixote perform “The Impossible Dream” on TV. I think it was the Ed Sullivan show. I was instantly captivated by the song and by the character of Don Quixote. There was a children's version of the story (with illustrations) in the school library, which I checked out and read over and over. The whole idea of a brave knight tilting windmills he saw as giants was just the sort of thing that fueled my imagination.

My love of Don Quixote and “Man of La Mancha” continued throughout my teen age years. Many thought me odd, that in an age of disco and platform shoes, or “rock operas” such as “Hair” or “Jesus Christ, Superstar” I would be so enamored of a musical from another era. The reasons are quite personal and still are, but I have no qualms sharing the result of those reasons.

Don Quixote saw a world that had lost its sense of nobility, chivalry, grace and honor. People were being so pragmatic as to only look to themselves. They insisted on seeing things as they were, not as the could be or were meant to be. Yes, in his book Cervantes intended to address the idea of deception, that the ideals Don Quixote embraced never existed in the form he believed them to exist.

However, the play took a simpler approach: that Don Quixote, as deluded as he was, represented the need for people to believe that there are things worth fighting for no matter how impossible the odds. It presents the ideal that if we believe in someone enough, that person will come to believe in herself as well.

That is how I try to live my life, believing that Creator offers us the choice to embrace what Creator tells us:

"...whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things." (Philippians 4:8)

This is my own quest, perhaps an Impossible Dream: to be someone who hopefully reminds others that there are virtues worth holding on to no matter what the cost. That there are beauties in the world that can go unseen, and so be destroyed, if we forget to meditate on them and make them a part of our lives.

I admit I fail at this quest more often than I succeed. Yet living in Creator's mercy is something we all should seek to do, whether we are sinner or saint, or both. Those times when I fail, Creator makes good in many ways. The important thing is to keep trying, to be willing to march into hell for a heavenly cause.

Or, it could be the very possible dream that we should look upon others not as “Aldonza”, a coarse woman of questionable virtue, but as “Dulcinea” full of grace and beauty as Creator intends each of us to be. Seek the beauty beneath appearances, beneath the stereotypes we assign to those who look or think or speak or act or worship or vote differently than we do.

In my life, just as in Man of La Mancha, it seems people prefer I be practical and down to earth in ways that strips us of our virtuous ideals and mires us in the mentality that people like Don Quixote are ridiculous anachronisms. They are living caricatures to be mocked and derided for their old-fashioned ideas of virtue, honor and beauty are things worth fighting to preserve. Most people seem to want to be the Knight of Mirrors, intent on confronting the Don Quixotes of the world with the "reality" that they are out of touch with what the world is supposed to be like.

Many times the Knight of Mirrors has confronted me and many times I have been defeated. Each time I've come to better see the truth of it. The very things that leads people to want to turn Don Quixote back into Alonso Quixano is the reason why the world desparately needs Don Quixote. People need those with Impossible Dreamers to remind them that their own dreams may seem impossible, but really aren't if they are willing to occasionally tilt at windmills and view others not was they appear to the flesh and blood eye, but as Creator views them in the spirit.

We are all Don Quixotes and Dulcineas in His eyes.

ReBOOT (in the butt)

I started this blog a couple of years ago with high hopes it would give a boost to my writing career. OK, so "career" might be a misnomer since I haven't received much more than praise from most people (and a bit of fundage for some research). Praise is nice, but it doesn't help pay bills.  A common compliment is "You write so well, you should do this for a living!"

Now why didn't I think of that!

Sarcasm aside, the ways in which a person can develop writing as a source of income have changed thanks to the internet. It's no longer necessary to go through a publisher or editor to get paid for writing. Blogs and other online sources allow for widespread exposure to writers who have the discipline to make such things work.

Aye, there's the rub: my own lack of discipline regarding this blog.

When I started this blog (under the name "Making Matters Good" reflecting my Mohawk name "Raianerastha, which means "He Makes Matters Good") I wanted to blog about subjects that I hoped would help people become aware of certain issues affecting their lives in a way that would encourage them. I didn't want to just point at something critically, except as the basis for then discussing how to overcome whatever issues are at stake. It was a noble idea, and when I first discussed it with some friends, I was encouraged to give it a go.

I had high hopes but not the discipline to sustain them. I let myself fall into the trap of only writing when I felt inspired. That is the worst thing that a writer can let happen: we must make ourselves write on a regular basis, even if Calliope fails to show up for the session. Spending an hour-or hours- staring at a computer screen, wondering why the words don't flow forth in a tsunami of literary genius (or at least a reasonably workable idea) can be frustrating. However, I have learned from experience, and through the advise of others, that it is not a waste of time. A number of people showed me that Thomas Edison's words about genius being 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration are true.

That perspiration involves making some critical choices. As far as this blog is concerned, the first drops of sweat involved deciding how to revitalize it. The easy way would have been to simply start writing the sort of things I had been writing about before I let things slide. Yet, I had to consider that attempting the easy way might be the very reason I didn't make much of this blog to begin with.

One bit of sound advice regarding writing is "write about what you know". So I decided to blog about what I know, which involves photography, music,  Native American issues, socio-political issues and Christianity, as well as a talent for short story fiction. Let's not forget about my penchant for using movie quotes to make a point either.

That's a bowl of topical goulash, init?

If you don't think trying to figure out how to put such an eclectic mix of topics into a blog that won't simply leave people asking "What the hell is he smoking?" then you are better at such assessment than I am. Blogs are supposed to be topically simple in order to succeed. People bookmark them because they want to return to them to read about fairly specific topics. Someone who goes to a photography or music blog doesn't necessarily want to read an oped about the Tea Party or an explanation of how long lasting the effects of colonialism are on the First Nations. K.I.S.S has always been a safe approach to sharing content online.

But...why play it safe?

I decided that if I'm going to spend 99% of my time sweating to offer content for this blog, it's going to be content that I am happy with, rather than some of the fluff that is enormously popular but doesn't really do anything constructive other than generate revenue for the site owner through click through ads. Not that there is anything inherently wrong with blogs or websites that feature nothing but Instagram photos of the week or vines of cats acting crazy. We all do need mindless entertainment. That's just not where my strengths lie.

So, my goal is for my sweaty, fat fingers and (hopefully) inspired mind to present a combination of images, words and occasional bits of music that will share with people a perspective on the world that will hopefully educate, entertain and even enlighten. It may be a description of how a photo was produced one day, or an oped the next. The photo might itself be editorial in nature. Or the oped might have a photo attached for editorial purposes.

I'll throw in a short story now and then to see how that flies.

Eventually I will uncover what is most appealing about what I have to offer, and it may result in narrowing the scope of things down a bit. See, successful writing comes not only from writing about what you know, but also recognizing your audience. If I find that 90% of my audience visits only for my photography related posts, then the course is set for me.

On the other hand, maybe my audience will prefer the goulash?

In any event, 2014 is going to be an interesting year for this blog, and for me as I make sure I boot myself in the butt anytime I fall into the trap of letting things slide.