Color Blind?

Whenever a majority culture person says "I don't see other people's color or ethnicity. I just see them as people"

I cringe. 

Why is that, you may ask? 

Because many of us embrace the culture inherent within our ethnic group. Many have experienced bias based on their skin color or appearance. In both positive and negative ways, our skin color or cultural ethnicity is part of our individual identities. 

I take pride in both my Mohawk and Lebanese heritage and culture. I work as best I can both to preserve my Mohawk heritage and to be an advocate for the Mohawk people. Dismissing that from the equation of a relationship with me is dismissing a fundamental part of my individuality. The same goes with any person of color or member of a specific ethnic or cultural group.

It's more than recognizing the individual though. Often, when people say they don't recognize the color or ethnicity of others, they are unwittingly saying that as long as the person acts in a way that conforms to majority, "white" society, they are comfortable with them. Conform to a set of behaviors that align with majority culture expectations and you are accepted ("white by adoption"?). Express distinctly cultural/ethnic behaviors and you create discomfort which some try to deal with by pretending those distinctives don't matter. Or worse, declare that they are some sort of "reverse discrimination" on the part of the minority individual.

The same person then crosses the street to avoid a group of "thug looking" black men standing on a corner. 

The same person then tells Native Americans who express our experiences and issues to "let go of the past" and "get over it".

The same person then gets nervous if a LGBT coworker gets too close or compliments his wardrobe.

The same person then declares a strong woman to be a bitch or an effeminate man to be gay.

The same person then complains of reverse discrimination if a minority talks about the reality of "white privilege".

This isn't always the case of course. Many people say they don't see others according to race or ethnicity as a valid statement of their genuine sense of equality. Still, for the sake of relationship it might be good to not throw out the baby of celebrating someone's culture with the bathwater of avoiding prejudice. The key is to listen,watch and, believe it or not ask questions. Yes, if the relationship is growing, it's ok to ask a person about details of their ethnic culture and how they, as an individual, embrace and celebrate it. If someone were to ask me about my perspective as a Mohawk I would gladly share it, without attempting to turn it into a contest as to whose culture or ethnicity is best.

Try it. Try listening and learning about, and from, minority friends and coworkers. You may find that seeing their ethnicity and color in a positive way is better than not seeing it at all